INTERVIEW
Maybe YOU are Mr. Right yourself
INTERVIEW
Maybe YOU are Mr. Right yourself
Coming up at CC Amstel: an evening with Indie Nile about how to find the love of your live. We checked with Indie and asked some deep questions!
In dating, we're looking for 'Mr. Right'. Should we settle for less if we cannot find him?
I definitely don't think we should settle but we have to be really honest with ourself about what we really want and start questioning the profile of this 'Mr. Right' that we conjured up in our imagination.
What is it that I really want from a partner? It sounds simple but if you really break it down, a lot of us would find that the choices when looking for a partner we are making don't match what we truly want.
Also, the profile of 'Mr. Right', for me personally keeps changing and then I came to this realization that I was actually confused. I wasn't being honest with myself about what I wanted. I used to think that the man for me is this tough guy who can take care of me but everything about me and what I do repels such guys and I came to the realization that I am actually a caretaker. It comes very naturally to me to take care of someone but I was so traumatized by that because of earlier experiences that I shut it out.
Why does it seem that straights and lesbians are better at dating and finding true love than gays?
I think the word 'seem' is the most revealing part of that question. Indeed, it seems that way but I'm not sure that it's reality. The straights and lesbians I know are just as confused as us gays. But maybe their confusion comes out more prominently in other areas of their lives like work and addiction and so on. Maybe it's because they're more conditioned to play the role of 'stable' relationships so they play the part better. This is a very interesting question you asked, it's making me think hard. I don't know if there is a clear answer but one thing I know for sure is that there is no happiness to be found when you compare yourself to others.
As a gay man, I went through all the different phases of open relationships and closed relationships and I also see some of my friends do the same. The happiest couples I know are the ones who have trust, compassion and tenderness between them. Whether the relationship is open or closed.
Maybe indeed for gay men, the picture of true love is different. But whatever the picture, honesty with yourself is always key. Because when you are clear, you're no longer confused and anxious. You can rest and enjoy what you have.
What do you hope people will learn from the Drag Therapy experience at CC Amstel?
I hope that they will learn what I've been learning which is that the answer is inside of us, not outside. We all need to become more self-aware and stop blaming others for the situations we're in, romantic or otherwise.
Show: Drag Therapy, How 2 Prepare 4 the Love of Your Life
When: Friday February 3/ 20:30-22:00
With: Photo-opportunity with Indie
Speeddate to get to know yourself